


Urban Dictionary Is Your Friend

by Reyemile



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 10:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21967765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reyemile/pseuds/Reyemile
Summary: Nathaniel needs love advice. And apparently some help with slang, too.
Relationships: Marc Anciel/Nathaniel Kurtzberg
Comments: 6
Kudos: 134





	Urban Dictionary Is Your Friend

Marinette, Alya, and Nathaniel were bundled against the cold, scarves and coats holding up respectably against the wind and cold. Paris was generally warm, and even the coldest days like today barely dipped below freezing. 

“Yo, Nath.” Alya paused to blow a steam ring in the air, enjoying the rare sight of her own breath. It was the only redeeming feature of the winter, which felt much colder to the Martiniquan than it did to the two native Parisiens. “You said you wanted to talk to us, but you haven’t said a word.”

Nathaniel huddled in his parka. His was the bulkiest coat of the three, and he hid in it for security, not more warmth. “I need some romantic advice,” he said. 

“And you’re asking  _ Marinette _ ?” 

“Hey!” Marinette punched her best friend on the arm harder than was strictly necessary. “What’s that supposed to--”

Alya pointed over her shoulder. “Is that Adrien?”

Marientte leapt into the air. “What? Where? Is he looking at me? Should I look back at…” 

Alya snickered. 

Marinette glared. “Alya, that was not funny.”

“It kinda was,” Nathaniel said, then wilted when Marinette’s gaze turned to him. “Sorry! Marinette, I know your thing with is tough for you, but you’re one of the most helpful people I know. And Alya, hopefully you can help make up for Marinette’s inexperience with your own. You and Nino are relationship goals for the whole class.”

“Aww, that’s sweet!” said Alya. She put her hands under her armpits. “Maybe you do have some common sense. Now can we go  _ inside? _ ” 

Marinette’s bakery/home wasn’t far from the school, so that’s where they ended up. Marinette’s mother saw their shivering and set them up promptly with steaming tea, herbal and minty. The conversation died down while they warmed up, stealing the heat from the tea through ceramic mugs.

“So, you and Marc. You  _ are  _ dating, right?” Alya had the gleam of a scoop in her eye.

“Yeah. Kind of? I suppose,” Nathaniel hedged.

“You can be open with us,” Marinette assured him. “We won’t judge.”

“I’m not hiding anything!” Nathaniel said quickly. He tried to drink some tea. It was too hot. “I’m just… we never really talked about it. We… we definitely kiss. And hold hands. And we’ve gone out together for dinner a few times. But…”

“But you’ve never sat down to DTR?” Alya asked.

“...to what?”

“Define The Relationship, my man! Urban Dictionary is your friend.” Alya smiled to let him know that the teasing was in good fun. “Believe me, I need it on a daily basis. Nino’s picking up new slang all the time.”

“Oh,” Nathaniel said. He blew on his tea and then tried again. 

“I kind of agree,” Marinette said. “Don’t take it too far--you don’t need a signed and notarized relationship contract--”

“Haven’t you already drafted a prenup for Adrien?” 

“Alya, shut up, it’s different when he’s rich! But I agree. If you two are dating, you should both agree to some basic terms.” Marinette nodded firmly. 

“That… makes sense, I guess. He’s much better with words than I am, though,” Nathaniel said.

“He’s shyer, though, and that’s saying something,” Marinette commented. “You might have to make the first move.”

“But what if he says no?” 

“Are you kidding?” Alya slapped her leg. “I’ve seen you two together. That’s not gonna happen.”

“But… he’s been spending a lot of time with a girl.”

Marinette poured a little more tea for him from the pot. He stared at the rippling liquid in the cup. Alya gave him a solid minute to elaborate before losing her patience. “So what makes you think she’s a sidepiece?”

“A what?”

“My man. Urban. Dictionary. Sidepiece, as in, piece of ass he’s seeing on the side. What makes you think he’s going behind your back with her? What makes you think she’s not just a friend?”

“Yeah,” Marientte agreed. “We need a little more to go on than ‘spending time with her.’ Boys can spend time with girls, you know. Adrien spends a lot of time with his friend Kagami and they are definitely, positively, absolutely not dating if I have anything to say about it!”

Nathaniel didn’t look up from his cup. “Right, well… they were talking about meeting her family. And about dressing up nicely for it. Something about spending Christmas together. I-- I hoped I’d get to do that--”

“Do you celebrate Christmas?” asked Marinette. 

“My family doesn’t, but I can’t  _ not  _ celebrate, not when all my friends do. It’s fun, even if my beliefs are different.” He smiled. “And I like singing Christmas carols.” Then his smile faded. “I’d feel a little uncomfortable if it was a really religious celebration, but even then, I can just sit out the praying parts. I’d like to spend it with him.”

“Did you  _ tell  _ him that, though?” Alya half-asked, half-accused. 

Nathaniel’s silence answered her.

“Still, you’re jumping the gun,” Marinette said. “Obviously you and Marc need to have a talk, since this is upsetting you, but it sounds like you think Marc has a perfectly good reason not to do Christmas with you. Where are you getting the idea that he  _ likes _ this girl?”

“Well, he said something to her that made me think they were… kissing.” Nathaniel had a little more tea, feeling the heat settle in his stomach and chase away the last vestiges of the winter outside. “He said… he said he wanted her to be his beard. And all I can think of is her rubbing her face on his, getting up close, touching his cheeks, and---why are you staring at me?”

“Just to be clear,” Marinette said, “that was his exact words? He wanted her to be his beard?”

Nathaniel nodded.

Alya took out her phone, swiped, tapped out a few letters, and handed it to him. 

“Urban Dictionary?” Nath asked. She gestured for him to keep reading. He did “Beard: Any opposite sex escort taken to an event in an effort to give a homosexual person the appearance of being heterosexual…”

“I’m happy to help you out, Nathaniel.” Alya clapped his shoulder with an open palm. “But maybe next time, try googling your slang before you panic over it?”

Face burning red, Nathaniel nodded. “Sorry for wasting your--”

“You didn’t!” Marinette hastily interjected. “It’s not a waste to help you, Nathaniel. You two are sweet together, but you’ve clearly got some communication issues to work out. We want you to be happy, and we’re glad to help!”

“What she said.” Alya’s own tea had gotten lukewarm, and she grimaced as she chugged it down and poured herself a hot serving. 

“Oh. That’s… that’s so sweet.” Nathaniel smiled brightly, enjoying the comforting scents of the bakery combined with the relief of not having a cheating boyfriend. “I do have some questions about… boyfriends. About how to talk to him. But before we start, can I ask you one more slang term, Alya?”

“Sure, shoot!”

“What’s a ‘twink’?”

Alya blinked. Then blinked again. “Maybe… you should look that one up yourself?”

“Oh,” he said. “Oh yeah.” Alya’s phone was right in front of him and still set to Urban Dictionary, so he typed it in and hit ‘search.’

When he turned tomato red and dropped the phone like it was on fire, Marinette and Alya started laughing, and they didn’t stop for a very long time. 

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the r/miraculousfanfiction holiday give exchange.
> 
> Giftee: u/Anonymousanime7
> 
> Prompt: Nathaniel starts to think Marc has a crush on someone.


End file.
